From the class – Creating your own integration circles

Boundaries and Agreements

We’ve got a couple of agreements that we all make here, to ensure that everyone in the group feels safe to be free, open, and vulnerable. I’m going to ask that you raise your hands to show your agreement so that everyone can see that we are on the same page.

1. 1. We share from our experience. This is a time to dig deep and share, it’s not a space to philosophize, or teach, or engage in conversation.

1. 1. We agree that everything we say here is confidential. We’re a community that protects each other’s vulnerability and dignity. We’re not going to talk about what is said here out in the world. Cool?

1. 1. We’re also going to protect each other’s anonymity. If you see someone from this group in an important business meeting, you’re not going to run up to them, and shout, ‘Oh, you’re that lady from the drug thing!’ Ok?

1. 1. During feedback and reflections, we ask that you avoid giving advice or expert opinions, and instead focus on reflection and personal experience. A good rule of thumb is to use ‘I’ statements instead of ‘You’ statements. It doesn’t really feel good to hear, ‘What YOU need to do is a,b, and c,’. It’s much nicer to offer something along the lines of, ‘I can really relate to what you’re saying and I found that taking walks in nature and reading the Bhagavad Gita really helped put things in perspective.’ Can everyone agree to use I statements?

1. 1. We have a principle of ‘Step forward, step back’. This means that if you’re a big talker, and you always have a response or an answer to everything, try to practice sitting and listening. Nobody has to prove that they are smart here, there are no experts. Try not to take more than your fair share of the floor, and practice just listening. Sometimes there are people who have something to add, but they are quieter by nature. Some people need a little space to allow their input to emerge, and we value their voices as well as the people who have an easy time sharing. That said, if you’re one of those people who are quieter, please do step forward and offer your energy into the mix. If it’s a growth edge of yours to voice your thoughts, we encourage you to lean into that. Good?

1. Lastly, this is a bad place to buy or sell drugs. let’s not do anything illegal here. We don’t want to jeopardize our ability to meet like this or risk anyone’s safety or freedom. So, we agree to not break any laws, ok?

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